String of Consciousness

School has started. I am tired already and feel a little overwhelmed about how hard I need to work this semester. I feel like I need to say something. But unlike any other post, I am not really sure what I should say. I don't have a topic, but for some reason I'm feeling particularly reflective at the moment. Some of it might be the fact that I have nearly reached the end of a long week, and part of it might be the fact that I just read Lana Wimmer's blog post at: http://sparechangeblog.me/2015/09/04/its-okay-to-cry/

Her post really made me think about misunderstanding the needs of the individual (or refusing to understand in some cases). I think about my professors and how they know for a fact that most students don't have a book yet, but they still assign reading questions and homework problems from it. But I also think about something from my religion class, "Lord, is it I?"

This question takes humility and reflection to ask. I have volunteered as a Peer Mentor for freshman girl Chemical Engineering students. I am meeting with some of them today. How can I best address their needs? How can I make sure they feel comfortable in this new place? Being nice and inclusive can make or break someone's entire experience away from home. I was new once too. How
can I do better than I have done in the past?

I also recall a conversation I had with a recent returned missionary about how college is completely selfish and feels so different from constantly serving others. I didn't serve a mission, but I don't see it that way. You are getting an education to improve your capacity to serve. That is the tag line of BYU after all, "Enter to Learn, Go Forth to Serve." Finding an eternal companion is not just for your happiness. Marriage is about both partners and your future children. Planning fun dates are the way you are going to get there. Living selfishly in college is an outlook that you don't have to have. Following the commandments of seeking learning and getting married in the temple is serving the Lord. Having righteous desires and accomplishing righteous goals is not a matter of "me above you", it is a matter of personal progress; which believe it or not, is not selfish and can be accomplished outside of a mission.

Everyone is here for a purpose. Some of use have undergone more change and hardship than others. We have different talents. The world may value those talents on a scale, but the Lord sees us for what we really are. He sees how hard we really try and rewards every effort. The most important things in this life often cannot be counted, and sometimes they can't even be explained.

So here is to a year of less complaining, of hard work, of being nice and making new friends, of asking "Is it I?", and of being happy in the moment. Here is to my third year of college at BYU.